A Comical Conversation

So I’m home for a few days. That’s neither here nor there. What I’d like to discuss is how my family has the most fabulously absurd dynamic ever.

First, we’re political. More specifically, bleeding heart Kennedy liberals. However, in my father’s aging process, he has developed a new persona…. alter ego even. His new persona is that of a grumpy old tea-partier. He brings it to life every time my mother asks him to do something.

I am the youngest and only girl. My mother works as a speech pathologist, but her hours are half of what my fathers are and with much more flexibility. She took yesterday off to sit on the couch with me. and watch shitty movies. We then prepared my dad a delicious meal, and we all sat down to eat upon his arrival. When she asked my father to clear the table, the grumpy ass republican reared his ugly head.

My father went on a Romney inspired rant about how my mother was the 47% of our family. How everyone in this family is hell bent on redistributing his wealth. How there’s a “god damn” entitlement program happening under his own roof. And then it was taken a step farther when in retaliation my mother pointed out that all of the masculine and ‘american’ labor in my house was done by people that we can all assume are not legal citizens, and that my father was a god damn racist bigot who reduces the only black being in our house to the status of an animal (this would be my dog). This is a typical dinner conversation. We all did the dishes. My dog ate a stick of butter. That’s not necesarry information, but you should know how dope my dog is. Bernese Mountain Dog, it doesn’t get any better.

I like these conversations because it highlights how batshit insane our country is. Call me a socialist. I don’t care. We’re all people. It doesn’t make any sense for us to not treat everyone that way. As my mother once said… last weekend… “It’s fine to have more than you need, but when you have more, you give more. Why take from the people who don’t have anything to give?”

I like my parents.


About dochasann

Twenty years of trials and triumphs. Sociology major living in NYC. Overly cynical. Witty when I feel like it. Obsessed with my puppy.

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