Yesterday, I met him at the place where we had our first date. We were both dressed up. He ordered me a cappuccino and picked out a table before I arrived. It was the best worst thing ever. I thought it would last an hour or so. It lasted three. I’ve never been more in love with someone than I am in this relationship.
Lack there of.
Whatever. I’m still a SINGLE BETCH.
This whole interaction did highlight how much I need to work on, and how much he needs to work on before we can be in eachother’s lives. It sucks. But also it was great. The interaction also made me realize just how fucking weird we both are. We are so competitive, We are crude. We are disgusting. We are immature. It’s beautiful. He is the only person that I can just BE with. Even my best girlfriends will be like, “Wow Nora, you’re a fucking weird.” It sucked because it’s a tease. And even worse because I KNOW that I need to hook up with other people to protect my pride and dignity, but whatever. I’m just going to try and separate feelings from that.
Ben, the boy, is so strange. He’s my favorite little weird. I miss him. I love him. I need to be a better version of myself though. He needs to be the best version of himself, or else neither of us deserve eachother.
Tra La La. Confusion.