I haven’t written in a while. Things have been nuts, crazy, wonderful, confusing, bad, and again CONFUSING.

I’ve done a lot of messed up things to get even, numb, away from it all. Basically nothing productive. Then Sandy came and fucked shit up for everyone. It’s all so surreal. This city will never be the same.

But this is my diary relationship blog. So that’s what I’m going to discuss.

I’m so low. I’m so worried. About me. About him. He’s my person. And I know that. And I think he knows that. We are hurting each other so much right now. I want to be a part of fixing him right now. I can see him spiraling. He can see me spiraling. I just want both of us to catch each other. I know we can. I know it’s not healthy to be codependent, but also isn’t it terrible to be like…. Dying? Ahhhhh this is so frustrating. I miss being a part of his life. It’s not even about sex or a relationship or anything anymore. I just want to be there for him and be with him. Like I want to be his friend. I sound forever lame and I know that. This is my sad post. Sorry guys.


About dochasann

Twenty years of trials and triumphs. Sociology major living in NYC. Overly cynical. Witty when I feel like it. Obsessed with my puppy.

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